I’ve got the shakes again. The social media shakes; the Twitter tremors. It’s 24 hours since I published my latest blog post; a post I spent some time crafting; a post I’m proud of; a post only 3 people have read.
I am a FAILURE!
NO ONE likes me.
Maybe I need to focus on my plays.
What’s it all for!
Oh, fuck this!
I’m new to the twatter of Twitter; I joined two weeks ago. And during this time, I have ‘liked’ as many tweets as possible; I’ve commented on as many tweets as possible, and I’ve followed the blogs of all those people tweeting about their blogs. Yet, I still only have 71 followers. 71. 71 bloody followers and 20% of them are selling dildos or Nike Air Max. You’re a Twitter pariah if you don’t have at least 4000 Twits in your gang.
But how do I get people to join MY gang? I realise it takes longer than 2 weeks to compete with Stephen Fry and Kim Kardashian, but I’m impatient and I get anxious when no one asks me to join the party. Yes, yes, yes, I know it’s not personal. Most people are on Twitter to promote themselves, their book, their blog, their new shoes. Facebook is all ‘ME ME ME!’ and Twitter is just its condensed, marginally more discerning twin.
How can we share the love? I deliberately look for the posts without any likes or comments. They evoke a sympathetic reaction, and an empathetic one too. After all, we all know how soul-destroying it is when our oh-so-funny/smart/witty tweet gets suffocated by everyone else’s funny/smart/witty tweet. Is it just a case of he who shouts loudest?
The incredibly overused adage of ‘content is king’ is not necessarily true. Bollocks content is king, for sure. There is an abundant outpouring of shite content. My Facebook wall, email inbox and Twitter homepage thingy is full of meaningless, derivative, plagiarised and poorly written content. But it reigns supreme. How do I compete?
How do I manage the psychological and emotional impact of social media? How can I publish a new blog post or compose a new tweet without spending the WHOLE night fretting about who’s with me and who’s not?
My husband is waiting for me to join him on the sofa and enjoy Django Unchained. But I won’t be present for the artistry of Tarantino, I’ll be listening out for the tuneful ‘ding ding’ of my WordPress notifications, or checking Twitter to see if I’ve found any new friends.
And that’s the curse of social media. It can make you feel the most and least popular person in the world. But for some unfathomable reason, I want in.
Ps. Should this shallow attempt to garner new Twitter followers convince you to join my small, but well formed gang (excluding the dildo dudes), you can find me here.
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Stop Banging! 
ha ha ha! Would you kindly get out of my head? LOL I’m right there with you. I haven’t joined Twitter yet. I think I’m one of the last hold outs. I try not to pay attention to how many followers I have. It becomes an obsession too easily. There are articles written on how to steal followers. Not my style. Go watch your movie and relax. At least you got one ‘ding’ for now.
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Thank goodness for you Lisa. I love seeing your ding! I know, I know. It’s too easy to get obsessed with your perceived status. Maybe it taps into childhood feelings/insecurities, or something similarly deep! But, yes, OK, I’m off to watch the film. I’ll check in FIRST thing tomorrow morning!! 🙂 xx
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Your not alone. I often think about disconnecting myself from Twitter because I feel like its not getting me anywhere. It makes me feel very low when I don’t get anyone to view my post. I wish I could get 500,000 followers on all my platforms. That’s NEVER going to happen. 😦
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Yes, I can feel low because of it, and yet, I realise how ridiculous that is! Then I feel very stupid and self-obsessed, and generally ungrateful for my privileged life, i.e. imagine if Syrian refugees only had to worry how many Twitter followers they had. Jeez, what’s wrong with us!
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Yes… See we totally think on the same page. I often think of those who have dreams in life but can’t possible accomplish it. I should stop complaining and be appreciative. 🙂
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Hurrah. I feel better already. Thank you! 🙂
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Well, after reading your comment on my Twitter post, I just had to come and find out what had you so shook up!! A great post. I have jist followed you now on twitter, so you can have someone to chat to who wont talk aboit dildos (much ) xx
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Ha ha, I don’t much the dildo chatter. Just don’t keep flogging them to me! Well, not unless it’s REALLY good! 🙂
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Cant be the rabbit 😉
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Don’t like the smell!! x
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Lol, so true. How I use Twitter has really changed since I started blogging. Back in the day it was all about political stuff – my outrage at this, praise for that, and random convos with strangers about the other. Now it’s just, please read my stuff, why won’t you read my stuff, what’s wrong with my stuff…. Hehe. #picknmix
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Haha, yes, very true. I’m not really sure to whom I’m pitching my blog. I don’t really enjoy reading the ‘my baby’s been sick on me again’ blogs, but there are 1000s of them. I haven’t yet find many quirky, snarky, irreverent ones. And, I do want to read the political stuff, just haven’t seen much so far. But, I’m on week 3, so perhaps I need to go a little easier on myself!! Thanks for reading. x
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*hug* it definitely takes time to establish a following but interacting is exactly the right thing to do. Also, join those Facebook groups. Join the international bloggers association, it is a great tribe. I’ll follow you as well 🙂
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Aww, I’ll take your hug, thank you!! Oooh, a bloggers association, you say? I’ll take a peek. Thank you. x
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I know exactly how you feel. My blog is a couple of years old but as it’s solely a family record I’ve never wanted to monetise it or have all the pressures that brings i.e gaining lots of followers across the social networks etc. That said I want people to read my blog and sometimes it can be disappointing when not many people read the post I’ve taken so long to write! On the plus side my page views have certainly grown over the last year and I have quite a few regular readers now so it does grow over time. #picnmix
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Yey, thanks for stopping by & leaving a comment 🙂
I know it’ll take time. I’m just incredibly impatient!! x
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yes it totally did make me follow you on Twitter! Loved this post, so honest and think many of us feel this way. It can be hard to find genuine people, but there is many out there I promise. Just checking out you website and loving it! Have greta weekend x
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Aha, thank you, that’s made my day!
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so glad honey xx
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Luckily I’m already one of your gang! Lol! It takes a while for all this to get off the ground doesn’t it, my Facebook page is low on likes which I used to take personally but now I’m not so bothered, it’s all a slow burner. It’s so easy to feel small and almost embarrassed by our followers compared to other successful bloggers on twitter. We’ll get there right!! Love your post x
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Bless yooooou! I don’t post to Facebook. Been there, and I always managed to upset someone, even if the post was generally innocuous. Actually, I’ve had this blog a few weeks, and I’ve offended a couple of people already. I added a new page ‘the rules of engagement’ which I encourage people to read before they leave a pointless, whiney comment on a post. Although, doesn’t seem to be working so far! xx
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Ha! See what I mean? You’re just saying what everyone else is really thinking. (and yes I became a follower of your Twitter yesterday..) Thank you for following me in kind today! I’m now up to THREE followers on the little birdie place that I know nothing about. ~Happy Dance~!!
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Yeeeeeah. It grows pretty quickly, I think. I’m just having trouble connecting with the right people. Lots of spammers & people selling fake Nikes!! I don’t want Nike trainers!!
I will seek you out on Twitter too! xx
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I have to admit that Twitter is actually one of my favourite and strongest platforms. A lot of it is about interacting but also it does take time. I hope you’re getting on better with it now and we already follow each other 🙂
Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix
Stevie x
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If it makes you feel any better, thanks to Twitter I found you and LOVE your writing style! I will be reading and sharing 💌Trista
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Aha, yes, it does make me feel better. Thank you, Trista. xxx
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