“No, I don’t want to ‘pop-in’ for a quick Christmas drink.” “No, I don’t want to ‘swing-by’ for a few festive nibbles.” “No, I have no desire to attend your house-warming do.’ So says my brain. My mouth, without consent, says, “Yeeeeeees, we’d absolutely love to pop-in/stay-over/watch your home-birthing DVD/sponsor your dog to walk The…
Category: Motherhood Woes
Introducing Mega-Mum & Her Competitive Christmas Crafts.
‘Make a lantern from recycled materials; from bits and pieces you’ve got lying around at home’, they said. ‘It can even be a simple, paper lantern. Dead easy’, they said. Guidelines which were clearly ignored by Mega-Mum. For her festive lantern wouldn’t look out of place hanging from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Cobbled together from…
Please Don’t Add Me to Your Christmas Card List.
I’m as enthusiastic as the next festive merry-maker when it comes to all things joyful and triumphant. I love Christmas. I love commencing the festivities in November; love giving-in to the irresistible £5 boxes of Roses/Quality Street/Heroes/Sainsbury’s pass-offs; love choosing a tree (although I hate putting it up); love making tasteless cookies with the younglings; and…
What the Midwife Forgot to Mention.
My friend is pregnant. 4 weeks pregnant. She has 8 months to fill her brain with other people’s opinions on pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood. And there are 1000s of opinions out there pleading to be heard (my favourite source can be reliably found on Facebook. Everyone has an opinion on babies/parenting/foreign policy, on Facebook.) But, despite the shelves of Waterstones…
10% Mother, 90% Annie.
I’m new to blogging. Blogging for pleasure, that is. I blog daily for other people; for businesses too busy to craft 500 words on their new product/service/office. It’s the ideal job for me, as I can type, type, type all day without worrying where, when and how to publish the words. That’s someone else’s job….
Why I Won’t (Can’t) Help Out at the School Christmas Fair.
I’ve just received an email from the school PTA; an email seeking enthusiastic and talented volunteers for the forthcoming, tedious as hell, school Christmas fair. (‘Fair’ – a term widely misused. Wallpaper tables of other children’s Rice Krispie cakes, tombolas with other children’s unwanted cast-offs and the forced-down-your-throat shitty raffle, does not a fair make.) As…
Stop Banging! 